Fear not journalists! We have at least four years of prime journalistic’n before we can stop the presses for real.

Last weekend I sat down with a calculator and studied the budgets of every newspaper in existence. I modeled their advertising business plans along a five-year trek and it seems a $6/month paywall subscription for each website would provide enough revenue to keep us in business until 2015!

Actually, I did sit down and discover we’ll be okay last weekend, but all I did was watch Back to the Future II. Go to 5:38.

We’re gonna be okay!

EDITOR’S NOTE: I just realized that there is no reference to the Internet at all in Back to the Future. How prophetic could it be without noting that? Also, are we anywhere near the development of a Mr. Fusion that can generate 1.21 gigawatts of power through the processing of garbage? Hell, there are no hoverboards, powered or not…or self-drying jackets endorsed by Stephen Hawking…and, come to think of it, USA TODAY hasn’t even changed their logo to that futuristic design yet…

False alarm journalists. Turns out the deadline could come anytime.